After meeting with a friend on Wednesday night, I boarded a bus going from NYC to Philadelphia. This is a beginning of a time of seeking of the Lord for me. For a month in the city I have noticed that I have not looked steadfast to Him and even though I know I'm still in the center of His will. I feel so inadequate to go on unless He clarifies His vision and fills me with a deep passion again. Inadequate also because the primary partnership I have had in the city has been with a brother of mine and that partnership has come under some relational strain. Without a praying partner in this city is for me at this point way overwhelming. Maybe the Lord has a purpose for us all to get out of the city for a while to hear His Voice and be filled with His passion once again.
All I wanted to do on this bus ride was to be quiet and maybe talk to some friends of mine. Nothing too hard right now, please! As if He deliberately ignored me, in came a traveler with bright blue eyes and newspaper-boy hat. "How are you! Do you play guitar?" I honestly told him that my guitar skill is pretty poor. He proceeded to tell me that it is not true and that I'm truly musical. I was really hoping he will not sit next to me! But I was completely ignored, again! He sat right next to me and started talking. Sharing with me with such enthusiasm about the love of music and his spiritual search. He was an American Hindu! We started talking about worship and very soon I was so absorbed into the conversation I had to check myself from talking too much. I could not believe the words that came out of my mouth. I never thought about worship like that less to explore it with such clarity. I was distinctly aware of another person in this conversation and apparently He wanted to teach us both about the meaning of worship, the authority in the spirit realm and the very distinction of God Himself from all the "created beings". I don't know what got into me and for some time wondering if I'm getting too intense again. But whatever it is he is responding to the message and proceeded to tell me the moments when he really felt God. I started imagine all the things I read about in the books - the spirit of God hits him and him weeping and falling to the floor... Nothing like that happened. I was so disappointed!
Then I got off the bus and realized that the train had stopped running so I'd have to get a ride to Auntie Mim's place. After a bit of negotiation I got into this taxi with an African driver. Again I did not want to say anything at all until he persistently asked me what I was doing. The truth is I have not idea what I am doing. I told him that I followed God and travel everywhere. Because he was a Muslim, we started talking about Islam. He was shocked that I knew anything at all about Islam, then asked me why I'm not a Muslim. Why would I ever want to be a Muslim, Jesus is infinitely better than Islam. All you've got to do is get to know Him! He became wide-eyed and almost awed, "you are one of those God people! you know God! oh yes, I know what you are doing now. You know God!" Sometimes I wish I got(or at least remembers) the revelation this guy is somehow getting.
Do you know that God lives in the very inside of us? And He just longs to beam out of us and say hello to the world.
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